With plenty of sound and fury, but not much else, “Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen” grinds along to an unsatisfying conclusion. The first real disappointment of the summer is filled with stupid humor, plagued with a meandering, twist-less plot and next to zero character development; the film is everything I feared the first one to be; jokey, Bay-style action with no heart. Let it be known, that I love the first film, I think it did something remarkable by taking a crappy cartoon series and gave it some weight; Bay stopped whatever he was smoking and created some striking action sequences and visuals without that damn camera seizureing every two seconds. Although it must be pointed out that producer Steven Spielberg was the film’s true savior. He gave the film its heart, the epic action sequences and the Witwicky’s domestic humor all had the Spiel’s Midas touch. Revenge of the Fallen sadly does not. A thin plot is slow to get going as Sam turns into a clueless, selfish college-bound kid wanting to live “a normal life.” Problems sprout up between him and Mikaela who is unsure whether he will remain faithful to her while he is away. Before Sam leaves, he entrusts a fragment of the AllSpark in Mikaela’s care when it comes to life in his hands. This causes Sam’s head to fill with symbols, driving him crazy as he settles into college. But then Decepticons come after Sam, wanting to get the information in his head that leads the way to the whereabouts of the ancient Transformers known as The Fallen. Aided by various Autobots, Sam, Mikaela, Sam’s college roommate Leo and former security agent Simmons travel to Egypt in search of The Fallen as the Autobots, Decepticons and US armed forces gather in massed combat. The actors, all great the first time around, are hit and miss this time. Shia Lebeof does his best, but comes across as a selfish douchebag. He does rise to the occasion, but seems a bit dense in his eventual realization of his destiny. Megan Fox, the best thing about the film,(the best thing about life at the moment) has next to nothing to do; she plays kissy-poo with boyfriend Sam, ( a highly unlikely coupling) does her best to give hard-ons to the male audience members, (some gay guys will probably be converted as well) but is basically useless. She has no contribution action-wise and serves no emotional purpose other than for Bay to show us what a Goddamn perfect specimen of womanhood she is (boy is she! Love the way she paints motorcycles!) And although nice to look at, she’s useless. John Torturro is insufferable and really has no purpose other than to remind us why he’s not in a Coen Brothers movie these days. His character, the government hack from the first film, seems to have had a personality change, not nearly as effective this time around and is used a some really forced and awkward comic relief. Same goes for Sam’s College roomie, Leo, who just screams and cries like a dumb bitch. He’s almost as bad as Chris Tucker in “The Fifth Element,” his shrieking and distasteful cowardice makes you want to scrape him off the screen with a spatula. I know the film is meant to be fun adventure, but when you have characters acting completely stupid and obnoxious, it’s hard to root for them. The twin robots, with the “gangster attitude” have been decried as racist stereotyping- that’s a bit extreme and just political correctness running amok. They add to the film’s pointless, raunchy vibe considering young kids are in the audience, but that’s as far as the offensiveness reaches. Sam’s parents who are used in one funny gag and then screaming bait for a trap set by the bad guys are underdeveloped to the say the least. A great discovery in the first film, they are barely used for anything other than dumb jokes. The only reason to watch this film is for Alien robot fighting foo! Even better this time around, ILM has outdone itself. For instance, these sequences would make for a fantastic home theater demonstration where the Autobots pursue a massive mono-wheeled Decepticon through a city, a remarkable sequence with the various Transformers in hand-to-hand combat in an open field, slicing one another up with swords; a set-piece with an aircraft carrier being impacted and sunken by falling meteorites; and of course the drawn out battle around the Pyramids between the various factions, including a Transformer that is capable of crushing other smaller Transformers together to make one giant unit that sucks every other machine around into its whirling mass, Megatron, who is not used to his fullest potential. A new addition to the Autobots camp is Jetfire, an old-timer who was once a Decepticon, but is now an Autobot as he doesn’t believe in his kind’s destructive ways. His sacrifice for Optimus Prime had a whisper of “Star Trek II” about it as he gives his life for his friends. Optimus Prime’s death and resurrection is one of the film’s best moments and all the scenes with him and Bubblebee are my favorite; the film needed more of these real moments, sincere and emotional. Also too when Sam meets the “Autobot” angels, for a few minutes I thought we might have some redemption here, but it quickly went back to the boom and slam. As great as said visuals are, it becomes a numbing experience, the human characters fall by the wayside, screaming and acting stupid, and the Decepticon began to look and act the same. This is the film’s problem, the lack of Spielberg’s expert hand to guide the film through tricky waters. The predecessor showed us we he can make alien robots fighting cool and to care about them when they get hurt. I didn’t feel that this time around thanks to Bay’s over indulgences. I walked out of the theater bored and cheated. Although I don’t hate the film, so much potential was wasted. Let’s hope Sir Spielberg’s masterful guidance returns for Transformers 3.