“Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones” is the single best moment I’ve ever experienced in a movie theater. I shall leave the detailed minutia to the likes of Harry Knowles, but I will just end this preamble by saying, whatever ill will people may have towards this film, I DO NOT see it. There are flaws, sure, but only a certified moron would let that trivial BS ruin their enjoyment of the film.
Set a decade after the events from the previous film, the plot is quickly set in motion as an assassination attempt on Senator Padme` Amidala’s life sends her into the protective custody of the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, (Hayden Christiansen) now an adult and full of piss and vinegar under the auspices of Obi Wan Kenobi, (Ewan McGregor)
Meanwhile, Darth Sidious sets the dark side into motion by pitting the various star systems against each other in a contrived galactic war that will send Chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) into the height of power with the help of rogue Jedi Count Dooku, (Christopher Lee) who left the order after the death of Qui Gon Jinn.
A considerably darker than the previous film, we essentially have a mystery to solve as Obi Wan goes into private dick mode and heads to a way out water planet, Kamino, (thanks to a tip from Dexter Jettster, a fun, Sidney Greenstreet inspired alien creation) where encounters bounty hunter Jango Fett, (Temura Morrison) who turns out to be a formidable foe. A great space battle ensues between the two in an asteroid field that has one of the coolest sound effects ever heard.
The whiny crybabies like to aim their anger-filled bromides at the misunderstood performance by Hayden Christiansen, who acquits himself just fine by the way as he shows with equal measure the young man angst boiling under the surface coupled with plenty of charm and wit. A jerk, sometimes yes, but we identify with him because ALL young people at that age are whiny, miserable know-it-alls and Anakin is no different. His glitch is his emotionalism; he’s got an unstable streak and is controlled accordingly, whether it is hatred, love or indifference; logic, rationale be damned. We see how his slide to the dark side is anticipated as ideas; notions and philosophies are so easily implanted in his mind. He’s an emotional live-wire and Palpatine plays the poor kid like a cheap fiddle, but only slightly as the real seduction is saved for Episode III.
The boy also stuck being young and lacking wisdom, ignoring it when it’s doled out by his elders. As sound as it may be, Anakin will have no part of it as he wants to spread his Jedi wings and live up to this “Most powerful Jedi ever” label he’s been getting for a decade or so.
The sex-free virgin geeks roll their eyes and bemoan the love story passages, ironic, considering most have never seen a naked woman except through a computer monitor, but for me just fine as it’s not a love based on mutual affection or even lust, but emotional need. Love makes little sense as it is, let alone young love which is clouded with illogical behavior and yes, cliché. We can understand why Anakin gets his groove on for Padme, as Natalie Portman is one of the hottest things on two legs, but why would she fall for him? The easy answer is he’s handsome; the heat in his gaze is palpable, confident, powerful, a real flirt who laughs at her dumb jokes and perhaps she digs his rebellious streak (chicks dig the bad boys after all) but the complex answer is maybe it goes deeper in that and she wants to take care of him, heal his pain, give him peace. After his confession about the Tusken camp slaughter, she’s in for life to soothe his wounded soul. She knows he’s slightly sad, lonely, stifled, the little boy she remembers from Tattooine, who misses his mother; the one who gave her a necklace he had carved out of wood.
The push of their love is based mainly on regret; Anakin still misses his mother and feels his talents in the Jedi order are not being fulfilled and Padme who feels chained to her duty as Senator, feels trapped in a privileged life full of obligation with no time for such things as emotional nourishment. Both are controlled by their careers and their choices and both are at first reluctant to fall in love, but Anakin falls first to Padme’s beauty and lets it all hang out. Padme is obviously struck by the young man’s charm, but tells him there are more important things than falling in love. She initially tells Anakin to back off, being afraid of what others think, but when their lives touch the precipice of death, she finally declares her love for Anakin as her regret takes over demanding love now more than anything. Once she does, she becomes a new person, full of life and willing to take chances; demanding and helping Anakin rescue Obi Wan on Geonosis.
Corny and even awkward in parts, I bought the love story because it has an interesting pay off. Anakin’s Tusken slaughter confession is a pivotal moment for their relationship as Padme sees him at his darkest, most vulnerable. The first instance of his emotions taking control; I killed them! I killed all of them! Not just men… the women… children. They’re animals! And I slaughtered them... like animals!
Padme’s response is quite telling; she’s not repulsed, she never judges him. It’s obvious she falls in love with the powerful man who protects her, but this is the scene that underscores why she wants to quiet his anger, quell his pain.
Uncle George has always had a tin-ear for emotional dialogue, but it works most of the time so who really cares, this isn’t Ingmar Bergman’s “Scene from a Marriage” so no harm done, the point is made and moves the story along in an acceptable fashion. It doesn’t have the sassy fun of Han and Leia’s courtship, but it works just the same because the are two very different beasts and the snarky, passive-aggressive banter heard in “Empire” would stick out like a turd in a punch bowl in this politically conservative milieu.
In a truncated supporting role is fanboy thrashing symbol, Jar Jar Binks, who plays a pivotal role, now upgraded to Senator. With good intentions implicitly shown, Binks is the biggest and most important pawn in this game of political chess. A tragic figure, as he tries to do the right thing, he wants the acceptance and respect from his colleagues who still laugh at his clumsy earnestness and political naiveté`, by making an important vital decision that he’s sure is the correct answer. What he does, he unknowingly hands the keys to proverbial kingdom to the devil himself, Chancellor Palpatine, (Ian McDiarmid) whose rise to power is the new trilogies most satisfying slow-burn.
An ardent lover of history, Lucas’s inspiration for Palpatine is obvious, intentional and some are fortuitous. Bits of various despots are sprinkled throughout: Adolph Hitler, Niccolò Machiavelli, Richard Nixon, Emperor Nero, Pol Pot, Joseph Stalin, King Charlemagne, Mao Tse Tung, George W. Bush and Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Palpatine ages like a fine wine, an evil, despotic wine, but a wine nonetheless as his grabs for power are done with the perfect amount of cunning and smoothness, yet with the skill of an astute political animal that makes Bill Clinton and Franklin Roosevelt look like dog catchers. Passing himself off as a man of the people, Palpatine has his hands in every aspect of the governing body. Controlling both sides allows him to be ensconced in every department so that he knows what his enemies are doing at every minute allowing the perfect platform to fight back and win.
Bribes, assassinations and scandals are not beyond his reach as he tells everyone exactly what they want to hear. These baby steps are all done for the eventual dictatorship in his quest for the ultimate power. Sure, he could just declare himself evil and get it over with, but that would be too easy and too soon. His power would diminish if the Jedis were in on his plan, which they aren’t at this point. Palpatine’s best (worst?) trait is his patience. He knows he can’t just jump right in and control everything, but waiting it out, planting seeds of distrust and using fears, lies and paranoia to manipulate his message. Using the old maxim of “keeping your friends close, enemies closer” Palpatine draws attention to this hand while the other systematically tears the Republic apart, to rebuild it in his own evil façade.
Shades of current events shine through, which is ironic as the film was written nearly a decade ago, before 9/11 and the Iraq invasion. The film is very much a slam against ignorant, gullible voters, corruptible leaders, asks us not to put much stock in pedigree and flowery speeches and about giving too much power to a corrupt individuals and (or) governments just for the sake of feeling safe. Relying on empty promises instead of productive, honest deeds is the quickest way to a society’s destruction.
Not bad for B movie serial pulp, huh?
When he wants to, Ole George can makes us think and he does as this is basically is a cautionary tale to all Americans and how peace can so easily fall apart and through the use of lies and fear how the noble idea of America can be polluted and raped all for the taste of power. The Jedi Knights fit into this as well as they are not doing so good standing by as the Republic dies on the installment plan. They’ve become exactly what Palpatine hints at and later claims they are in Episode III, but the seeds of distrust and suspicion are planted here as he suggests they are clueless, arrogant bureaucrats, no longer in touch with their proactive sensibilities, who are slow acting in nearly ever aspect of defending peace and honor for the Republic, yet when they do its contrived by Palpatine and his cohorts.
Again, Lucas’s themes of complacency crop up as he refuses to show the Jedis as these rosy good guys, but good guys stuck in a flawed, corrupt system that is oblivious to the evil right under their noses. Many fans felt annoyed that the Jedis were portrayed in such a manner, but I think it works great. Having Palpatine destroy them out of the blue would have been a bit much to accept. This way, he merely pushes an already teetering institution over the edge, most of it self-inflicted. Creating a noble institution is not a given as it needs nurturing and direction just like any worthwhile endeavor under the wrong leadership it will be perverted or in the Jedis case, obliterated. The same goes for the government, a living entity, without the proper care it will wither and die or in this case, the Republic, which is poisoned and transformed into Palpatine’s version of the Third Reich.
As you can tell, I love all things political so to watch Palpatine doing the evil two step is very satisfying. Lucas must have had a blast creating and giving depth to the character we only saw a glimmer of for the first time in “Return of the Jedi.”
The good guys are just as much fun to watch as Obi Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christiansen) show off their legendary friendship and seem to enjoy each other’s company- to a point. Both actors have a natural chemistry that allows us to believe they really do feel like good friends as Old Ben will wax nostalgic in ANH to Luke.
The film kicks off with a thrilling speeder chase through the busy traffic of Courscant, chasing a suspect in Padme’s assassination attempt, despite the often maligned dialogue, the two engage in some great insightful banter.
OBI-WAN
If you'd spend as much time
working on your saber skills as
you do on your wit, young Padawan,
you would rival Master Yoda as a
Swordsman.
ANAKIN
I thought I already did.
The men act like brothers, both respect each other, but Anakin’s resentment, however legit, begins to surface. As much as he admires his mentor, he feels he’s superior in his Jedi skills and is not afraid who knows it. The Jedis are the cause as they constantly like to remind Anakin that he’s the “Chosen One” and he’s here to be the most powerful Jedi of all time. So with head games being played by Obi Wan, Yoda and Mace, the kid is told to calm done, be patient your time will come, yet when he’s obviously ready, they slap him down and send him to the back of the line. The boy’s frustration is something Palpatine picks up on and will turn to his advantage in “Revenge of the Sith.”
Obi Wan is aggravated even maddened with his Padawan’s reckless behavior and tells Mace Windu and Yoda several times how volatile the boy is. Yet, when they are engaged in battle together the two land on the same page and kick ass and take names. McGregor has more to do than he did in TPM, firm and droll; he makes Obi Wan into a real, physical hero. His melee with Jango Fett on the Kamino landing platform is one of the best hand to hands ever put to film followed by the asteroid chase that has one of the best sound effects to ever spring from Ben Burt’s mind!
Hayden Christiansen took a lot of fire for his misunderstood performance. As stated before, he’s playing like all angst-ridden young adults, the saving grace lies in the kid’s killer smile, he flashes it at any given moment and all is forgiven.
Natalie Portman is better this time around, given a slightly meatier part that requires her to act instead of just reacting. Partaking in the Geonosis battle allows her to show off a cute outfit as well as her beautiful physique.
The rest of the bad guys are excellent, the legendary Christopher Lee as Count Dooku dominates every frame he’s in. His scene with Obi Wan is a wonderful testament to Lee’s long and storied career and a clever underscoring of the devil at work telling Kenobi the truth about what is happening and the young Jedi not believing him. It’s an effortless performance that gives off an enormous power and conviction. From a film geek perspective, it’s cool to have Lee along with his friend, the late great Peter Cushing, who played Van Helsing to Lee’s Dracula in several Hammer horror films of the 50’s-70’s, added to the now vast Star Wars universe.
Temeura Morrison as bounty hunter, Jango Fett was inspired casting as he’s played not as a thug or a henchman, but a father trying to pay the bills. “I’m just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe” he innocently tells Kenobi.
When I first heard about Boba Fett, (Daniel Logan) being a punk kid of 10 and getting a daddy, I cringed at the innate lameness of the idea, but it pays off beautifully. Payment from the Kaminoans, (who walk with an elegant glide) Jango was given an unaltered clone to raise as his son, VIOLA! Boba Fett. The two have a great chemistry together almost like two characters from a WB Looney tunes cartoon. I don’t mean that as a slight, it stems from their sincerity as being total dicks, especially young Boba who wears a huge, shit-eating grin when Obi Wan is nearly blasted out of the stars. I almost felt sorry for the kid in his final scene of the film when he holds the helmet of his decapitated pops.
The films’ biggest asset is its special effects, which at this point was a no-brainer in its excellence, Yoda being the films brightest and revolutionary achievement.
One of the greatest accomplishments in any fantasy film of recent memory is Frank Oz’s Yoda in “The Empire Strikes Back,” an unlikely route for Lucas to take at the time as he feared if Yoda didn’t look the slightest bit convincing, the film would have collapsed from within. Of course, it didn’t, Yoda remains the films most iconic character and everyone forgets Frank Oz has his hands up his ass during that magical scene of the X-wing being lifted out of the swamp. With that, we had the ugly, stiff Yoda puppet from TPM that made him look high with his glassy, dead eyes. George Lucas later said that he was not happy with the puppet and decided for Episode II to make Yoda all digital. The best idea ever- as Frank Oz is back again to give Yoda his trademark quirkiness and soul. Unlike TPM which only had a few scenes of him in usual Jedi speak, he takes on an active part, we see that he’s more than a Jedi Master, but a highly regarded Republic figure, a key component in the government’s daily goings on.
The best part is he gets to walk around; his expressions are deeper, more meaningful. No longer hindered by his physical limitations, Yoda has been elevated. Besides just walking around, he gets to fight his little green ass off and it is definitely the films most rousing moment. I saw this with a packed midnight crowd and when he ignites his little light saber, the place went apeshit with joy! Whooping, cheering and hollering, Yoda brought the house down with his Jedi antics. What could have been stupid and absurd, is stirring, potent and friggin cool! As a life long Star Wars fan, I never thought I would see Yoda fight anyone, let alone a mean SOB like Dooku, but he does and to see a little figure like Yoda going against a tall drink of Lee, who stands at least 6’6 is just amazing and when it was all over, I recalled Yoda’s saying in ESB to Luke, “Judge me by my size do you?”
The little green dude has one of the film’s funniest lines as he is clearly in his element, teaching the young, soon-to-be Jedis, Younglings as he calls. Obi Wan enters searching for a planet that has obviously been purposefully erased from the archives. Yoda cracks and then chuckles, “Lost a planet Master Obi Wan has? How embarrassing.”
R2-D2 shows up and does what he does best by pulling his human friend’s asses out of the fire, replete with flying rockets! Makes sense I guess since he didn’t really need them in the original trilogy. C3PO gets his coverings and makes some awful jokes during the Battle of Geonosis.
Speaking of said battle, it’s a feast for the eyes, a fantastic display of ILM’s talented crew’s and Sir George’s imagination. This is the first real battle for the Star Wars universe. For the first time, it plays out linearly; no cross-cutting between the action as Lucas is accustomed. Tons of stuff is going on with missiles, lasers, gunships, robots, clone troopers, Jedi Knights…it’s almost too much, but no complaints here. I love every minute of it as it sets up one of the finest entrances of a movie character- Yoda as he rides in on a gunship, barking orders in his inverted syntax like a miniature George S. Patton, “Around the survivors, a perimeter create” with Clone troopers in tow coming to the rescue. Another thrilling moment for the little green guy as he steals every scene he’s in and this sequence shows us why the title, that was initially ridiculed, makes perfect sense.
The preceding antics, in the coliseum with the creatures is equally fun as Padme, Anakin and Obi Wan each gets to fight a critter using their own ways of defeating it. Some Ray Harryhausen inspired fun here as we get a cat like creature with a rat’s tail, a cross between a walking stick and a crab and a purple Rhino with short legs.
Samuel L. Jackson is incredibly cool as Mace Windu showing off his bad-assery with his fight with Jango that proves to be the bounty hunter’s last.
Composer John Williams pulls another miracle out of his hat as he seems to have a lot more fun this time around. A clever moment matches the action on screen during the interrupted kiss on Naboo, the score and Anakin hesitate. A terribly suggestive work sets the stage for what’s to come later as well as creating a wonderfully original piece, Anakin and Padme’s love theme, “Across the Stars,” giving life to their relationship. We hear familiar works, Yoda’s Theme, The Emperor’s Theme, Duel of the Fates and The Imperial March in prophetic bits and pieces.
The film’s most satisfying element for me is its thematic richness. Often derided for his simplistic approach, Lucas has matured as this film is cast in moral ambiguity. Everyone is pulled in two different directions; Anakin is drawn to Padme, but wants to desperately remain loyal to the Jedi order. He loves and respects Obi Wan, but wants to be on his own. Padme` wants to love Anakin, but is torn with her duties as Senator. Palpatine lives to be a two-faced bastard as it eventually gets him what he wants, yet he must remain as two. Obi Wan respects and loves Anakin like a brother, but the kid is nearly too much for him to handle and constantly spouts off about it.
The good guys, Jedi Knights are not portrayed as valiant heroes, but conceited, overly-cautious politicians. With their confidence too high and aimed in the wrong direction, they become easy marks for Palpatine/Darth Sideous master plan with Anakin and the rest of the Jedis in the center of the crosshairs. Yoda seems to be the only one aware of his brethrens imminent demise with arrogance running rampant among the Jedis making their decline inevitable.
A bold avenue for Lucas to take when he could have just as easily have made them noble heroes out to slam evil everywhere, but as stated before, that would be too easy. Like in the real world, no great institution crumbles at the blink of an eye, but years of neglect and abuse.
Some fun connect the dot references to the original trilogy pop up; Palpatine’s chair in his office is clearly of the same style he lounges in his Death Star throne room in “Return of the Jedi.” Dooku is given the death star plans as the Geonosians flee during the clone trooper attack, the Jedi star fighters look strikingly similar to smaller versions of the Star Destroyer, the ship that looms over Tattooine in ANH. When Anakin pays the Lars clan a visit on Tattooine, the family sits around the familiar looking table from ANH as they drink plenty of blue milk and Luke’s land speeder is seen in the garage.
The films narrative mirrors that of “Empire Strikes Back” as our heroes are split up and later reunited and fighting for their lives, ending with a fantastic light saber duel that ends with Anakin’s arm being severed. The most arresting, the film’s final image, with Anakin and Padme being married is identical in staging to ESB’s finale; Padme holding Anakin’s artificial hand to Luke, with his fake hand around Leia looking out into space as the Falcon flies off in search of Han.
On the technical side, the film is astonishingly beautiful to look at it. The colors jump out and there’s no grain whatsoever. Blow the picture up too big and you will have it, but don’t do something stupid like that.
The special effects blend in effortlessly as the actors and the alien critters and robots share the same space convincingly. The speeder chase through the streets of Coruscant is a sight to behold as it looks almost three-dimensional and makes you want to reach out touch the buildings. Anakin’s speeder ride against the rocky landscape of Tattooine, is ambitious to say the least, it actually looks like an alien world and the notion that all of that comes out of a computer full of wires and discs is mind-boggling and just adds to the films hypnotic pull and charm. Anyone having a problem with the film at this point is a certifiable douchebag.
We come to the end as you can tell I’m still a big fan of this new Star Wars trilogy. I know there are some screw-heads who dislike these films, but frankly it sucks to be them. For all the films flaws, 3PO’s god-awful jokes, some trite lovely, dovey remarks, it makes up for it with all the good stuff we see, which is all of the above mentioned. A film of great fun and surprising amount of depth, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones is a fine addition to the infinitely appealing universe we all know and love.
May the Force Be with You.