Review Originally written 6- 05 After 28 years, the circle is finally complete as George Lucas delivers the final installment of the Star Wars Saga. “Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith” could not be a better finale. Even though I love the film, watching it is tinged with disappointment, not from Sir Georges end as some would like to believe, but mine, as I realized that I will never sit in a darkened theater and experiences these films or anything close to their likes again. I stress the word “experience” because these are not just mere movies, but living non-corporeal cinematic monsters that eat energy and thrive on the audience’s entertainment vibe for food. My history with Star Wars is a long and storied one. I've been there since the very beginning. I don't remember watching movies before Star Wars; I just recall being positively blown away. Having first seen ANH on the big screen, errr, I should say, the Drive-in screen in the summer of 1977 at the tender age of five, I was hooked. Sadly, a blasted Wal-Mart Super Center now rests on that very spot, but the summer I became a movie geek will always be a treasured one. NO movie before and few since has so influenced me or captured my imagination. Being so young at the time of the original's release, I was unaware of the turbulent social and political climate of the day started a decade and half earlier with the struggle of the civil rights movement, the murders of President Kennedy, Martin Luther King and Robert F. Kennedy, the escalation into Vietnam, and the final blow by the Watergate scandal and President Nixon's dishonorable resignation. The country was weary, for the first time in the Republic’s history citizens became distrustful of their leaders, questioned their loyalties and became uncertain about their future; they yearned for escape, simpler times and good ole' fashioned heroes- Star Wars gave that to them.... Fast forward all these years later and the world is still hungry for what Lucas serves up. Inspired by the oldest sources of drama, ‘Revenge of the Sith’ quickly shows us some of the key ingredients to the series success. We get everything from the bible, to Shakespeare, with a dab of Greek tragedy, equal parts mythology, “Flash Gordon/Buck Rogers”/matinee-serial and with a sprinkle of Akira Kirosawa. Lucas mixes it up to make one helluva fantasy stew that makes for one of the best installments! This is a horribly sad movie with death all around, but we hope everyone will pull themselves out of the mess they are in. I was still shocked that a Star Wars movie made me feel this way, but I also felt terribly giddy as I knew I was in for a fantastic ride, one I have waited on for nearly thirty-years. It wasn't going to be exactly fun, but definitely worthwhile. The previous installments were just foreplay; Episode I laid the groundwork; it made eye contact, blew us a kiss, it is the tease. Episode II showed us some skin, got us hot and bothered, we got some heavy petty, coming close to third base. Episode III strips down and tackles us with full-blown, room-rattling, eyes-in-the-back-of-the-head coitus; it is the consummation of a long relationship. It's a satisfying roll in the hay I might add. Beginning with an exclamation of War in the opening crawl, our heroes are immersed in an eye-popping space battle between the Republic and Separatists forces. Showing us why he's the best star pilot in the galaxy, Anakin drags us into the adventure by saying, "This is where the fun begins." In this opening space battle, we see what old Ben Kenobi is talking about in ANH when he says "He was the best star pilot in the galaxy...and he was a good friend". R2-D2 rises to the occasion fending off the buzz droids, nasty little buggers that drill into the ships hull pulling out wires and circuits. R2’s resourcefulness is endearing as his character has become one of the universe’s most beloved providing most of the humor in the film’s first act, especially his shtick with the hanger droids. In rescuing Palpatine, Anakin and Obi Wan engage in typical Star Wars banter, reminiscent with the Death Star action in ANH. Their friendship is that of an old married couple, comfortable with each other and yet shocked when they witness something unconventional from the other. Both Jedis are cool as cucumbers, cutting and slashing their way to Palpatine’s rescue. Once they reach their intended, they encounter Count Dooku one last time. Anakin’s intent is for revenge for taking his arm, but both engage Dooku in battle. Obi Wan is nearly killed, but Anakin gets the last word and cuts the Count’s hands off. Wanting to arrest him, instead he’s goaded into killing him by Palpatine. Anakin is hesitant, but caves and decapitates Dooku. "It's not the Jedi way”, the boy says regretfully afterward, Palpatine seems to enjoy it and tries to comfort the boy and explains it away, but that taste of instant justice and righteous fury will prove addictive to the lad. After a fantastic display of ILM’s talent with the crash landing of the Republic cruiser, Anakin and Obi Wan bring the Chancellor safely home and proceed to settle into the body politic to end the war once and for all. Anakin is finally reunited, with his love-and secret wife Padme Amidala. She's pregnant, a situation that if known, would mean Anakin's expulsion from the Jedi order. The trouble begins when Anakin begins having dreams, premonitions, of his wife dying in childbirth. Something he becomes so obsessed with, he defers to Jedi Master Yoda for counsel. "The fear of loss is the path to the Darkside" he tells him. "Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." Meaning: loved ones die, get over it. Anakin calls bulllshit and refuses to accept Yoda’s words so he turns elsewhere, to a more sympathetic counsel, Chancellor Palpatine. Lucas did his very best I feel as Skywalker's turn is a nice and deliberate one. Many have scoffed saying Anakin's turn was too short. Only for the ignorant viewers, signs of his fate were foreshadowed in Episode 1 during his tense interview with Master Yoda. After the massacre of the sand people in Episode II, his fate was sealed. I enjoyed how Anakin's dark side turn was steeped in irony. His dream of Padme dying in childbirth was only half a truth. Of course we all know it was he who caused her to die. It was Yoda, not Palpatine that had the secret to "immortality." So the Jedi’s possessed that which he thought he needed to obtain by being a Sith, which was not the case. I bought Anakin's reasons for turning, he was being used by two people he looked up to; Obi Wan was using him to spy on Chancellor Palpatine and the Chancellor wanted Anakin to tell him the Jedi’s every move. He was being pulled apart by both sides, both making sense, but both switching their roles of who was the deceitful one, thusly confusing the hell out of the boy. In the end, the Jedi Order sort asked for what they got, with Anakin and with their eventual doom. Anakin wants to be a Jedi Master. Even though he's gone through the trials, done what is expected of him, the Jedis basically tell him to go screw. This of course creates some problems. With distrust of the Jedi’s already laid out, Palpatine makes his move. By stroking his ego and about that which is most precious to him, his wife Padme, Palpatine plays the boy like a fiddle and tells him every goddamn thing he wants to hear and then some. With the death of his mother, Anakin becomes obsessive about those he loves, to the point of paranoia about his family's safety. Palpatine constantly lies through his teeth to the boy. We know he's a good kid, means well, a true talent who's about to be a father and that's why we the audience sit back in our seats and squirm while we scream, "DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!" Oh but, he does. We watch as Palpatine lays it on super thick. Lie after lie, he makes promises and piles it on like a Hillary Clinton and proceeds to vilify the Jedis and why they are rotten to the core. His case is persuasive, at times accurate, as his mannered, soothing voice tells of how the Jedi are governed by power and lust and limited by their code. By appealing to Anakin's emotional need and career greed, he turns the lad into Darth Vader long before the lava does and secures his own unlimited power! Things reach the point of no return when Anakin contributes in the killing of one of his own, Jedi Master Mace Windu in a great showdown between him and Palpatine. Even after he cuts Windu's hand off, (the killing duties go to Palpatine as he electrocutes him and sends him out a high-rise window) Anakin still feels conflicted, but alas, Palpy being the silver-tongued devil he is talks his way out of it. In one of the films best scenes, before Windu's demise, Anakin looks out the Jedi temple across the city. Padme, in her apartment, does the same, tears run down the boys face as he feels torn, Padme weeps for his out of control temper. Again irony steps in again as he will do anything possible to save her from dying, yet he won't stop himself from siding with the madman of the universe, contributing to both their deaths her physically, his spiritually. As one can tell I loved this film like no other in recent years. As a moviegoer and Star Wars fan it pleased me in ways I didn't think possible. (Sounds dirty, don't it?) This is a very misunderstood film with no easy answers and pat resolutions. The performances are all excellent, from the top on down, especially Natalie Portman, not a lot of screen time this go around, but she makes every moment work. A nice character moment for her is when she arrives on Mustafar. The ship lands and she pauses, holding her head in her hands, confused, scared, but somehow aware of what is about to happen. Hayden Christiansen as Anakin has taken too much crap for what he was hired to do. Some have labeled him a bad actor. In the Star Wars universe that makes no sense, but as usual, the naysayers are dead wrong. Hayden's interpretation is a revelation actually. His performance is what sucks us in and by the time he's donning the iron lung, we feel bad for him. I never thought I would pity Darth Vader, but I did. Here was a handsome young man with a hot wife and all the privilege he could handle and it was taken away through lies and deception. Not to mention all the pain he endured from being burned in lava. However, he murdered the younglings so his pain was his price. Going into the film I had some pangs of reservation that somehow the characters menace would be neutered, much to my surprise it was just the opposite. Lucas embraced the darkness and told the story accordingly, one of the most shocking moments is when Anakin is immolated, screaming for Kenobi’s help. Although it’s not shown in detail, the slaughtering of the younglings was more than just hinted at; a chill went down my spine when Anakin ignites his saber and the youngster flinches. That one profound gesture of evil showed us that Anakin’s soul was lost and there was no turning back. A cartoon or thinly-drawn character is not scary. If ANH had not had sequels, Vader would be just that-a cartoon. Without Empire and Jedi to show us what he was capable of, he would never have reached his iconic status, which is a bad-ass, evil mother. He's more of a tragic figure now as we know of what he did to become Lord Vader. He has to live with the fact he killed his wife and kid. (Although his children survived, he has no knowledge of that nor does he know that Padme had twins, thus explains his ignorance about Leia until Jedi) having your genitalia burned off would make anyone candidate for crankiest Galactic despot of all time. Yes, even worse than Mao Sang Tung. The showdown between Anakin and Kenobi is not so much about action or choreography, but emotion. The longest duel of any of the films is certainly the saddest as heroes become villains, friends become enemies and an era of oppression is born. The cinematography is incredibly vivid as we see real shots of active volcanoes used as the explosive backdrop of these two feuding former friends. Ewan McGregor is fantastic practically channeling the spirit of Alec Guiness as he delivers his lines in that familiar clipped, old-English accent. His besting of General Grievous is great fun as he tosses the blaster away in disgust to say, “So uncivilized” and on the other side, his best dramatic moments of the entire prequel trilogy are during his melee with Anakin, choking back tears he screams at his friend, "I loved you like a brother! We feel his pain and regret as he realizes he has failed his padawan, something he would lament on more in ANH to Luke, although with slightly altered details. For better or worse, his character has an image change, we see high differently than before when Anakin is screaming for his help, legless and being burned by lava, Kenobi does nothing. Revenge or karma, Kenobi seems uninterested in any type of reprisal, mercy (or mercy killing) of any kind and leaves his former friend to his own making. The film’s powerhouse performance belongs to Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor/Emperor Palpatine who is the real rock star of the show. He’s simply outstanding with his Vampire-like actions. A festering, seething cauldron of hate and power, McDiarmid chews every scene he's in and the film is the better for it. His first time with a lightsaber, the character and actor seems to enjoy themselves cutting a swath through Jedi ass. Not since Khan Sign from "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" has there been a more compelling and charismatic fantasy baddie. Although Khan was a chump compared to Palpatine. All Khan wanted was revenge on Captain Kirk for his exile and the death of his wife. Palpatine is Hitler in a hoody, a gurgling, giddy evil piece of crap who demands unlimited power with his new military empire-all in the name of piece of course. Lucas took a chance by not having Palpatine evil from the outset. One of the best slow-burns in all of cinema, Palpatine's rise to power is just as satisfying as Anakin's plummet into evil. Underscoring how well adjusted to the world the former is and how naïve and impetuous the latter. Palpy’s political machinations are nothing short of brilliant, mirroring that of Adolf Hitler with his cautious, well designed grab for power, his insulation from outside opponents and the vilifying, demonizing enemies, this time, the Jedi Order taking the place of the Jews. His best scene is his reveal to the all of the Senators as he shows what the Jedis have done to him and why they must become enemies of the new galactic empire. As his fascist movement is gaining momentum, he pauses, and as if to echo these strange times we live in, he claims to an eager audience, it's all in the name of peace and witnessed by Bail Organa and Padme who sadly laments rather intensely, “So this is how liberty dies… to thunderous applause.” Supporting nods go to Christopher Lee as Dooku and Jimmy Smits as Princess Leia's foster dad, Bail Organa of Alderaan; both are excellent in their brief time on screen. C-3PO is hardly seen, but has a great bit in the films final moments as it answers some questions about ANH and although the humor is sparse, the previous mentioned R2 has some of the films biggest laughs onboard the republic battle cruiser and continues to save everyone's sorry asses. General Grievous makes the most of his henchman role with his creepy chicken walk and is another visual marvel. Many thought his interpretation here was contradictory to his role in the Clone Wars animated series- not so! Acting on orders from Dooku and Palpatine, he was merely acting as the perfect distraction for Kenobi. He was NOT a coward running from a battle as he was just doing what he was told. Separating the two Jedis, Palpatines’ divide and conquer technique worked perfectly so he can mind rape Anakin without interference from Kenobi. As great as all of the human performances are, Yoda steals the show! ILM (Industrial Light & Magic) needs that Oscar now. His resemblance to his iconic début in Empire is breathtaking. Showing us once again why size matters not; his battle with Palpatine is his finest hour of the prequels. For the first time, Yoda losses his battle and we feel bad for our little green friend. Of course the special-effects are beyond critique at this point. It's hard to tell where the real world ends and the trickery begin. They are simply, the tits! Composer John Williams delivers the goods for the sixth and final time. Anakin and Obi Wan's "Battle of Heroes" theme is the standout piece. His absolute crowning achievement is the finale music when the twins are being born. We hear Luke and Leia's theme then it merges into the Star Wars finale- Brilliant. In an effort to erase the horrible shit known as the Holiday Special from our collective memories, the Wookiees get a much needed and long overdue makeover as we finally see their home world of Kashhhyk, a lush jungle planet where apparently Yoda fits right in as does a cameo from Chewbacca. The films closing moments are its best as the theme of a new hope and duality are stressed, both for the good and the bad guys: Padme dies/her children live, the Jedi purge begins/Yoda and Obi Wan go into exile/Palpatine’s Empire is born/Anakin dies/re-christened as Lord Vader only to be redeemed a generation later by his only son. Padme's last words to Kenobi set up the classic trilogy beautifully, "There's still good in him…I know." Profound, as old man Ben never considers it while he’s waxing nostalgia about his old friend in ANH or even when it’s uttered by Luke in Jedi. As he does in all Star Wars flicks, Lucas gives us a clever homage to other great films. The obvious reference being when Vader gets off the table, he jerks his limbs and moves just like the pitiful Frankenstein's monster as Palpatine looks on with maniacal glee. The last shot of the film, Obi Wan delivering Luke to the Lars homestead on Tattooine brings a tear to the eye. I give kudos to George Lucas on a job well done. He has brought a satisfying conclusion to a magnificent opus. While doing so has endured the idiotic slings and arrows from his so-called fans and the snobby film elite (and the ones who think they are) so it gives me great pleasure to see once again he has the last laugh as ROTS becomes THE highest grossing flick of the year, 2005. Put under the microscope no movie could endure the trivial deconstruction these films have endured, they simply don’t deserve it. Some of the so-called fans have been very dismissive with this prequel trilogy which is very much to their loss. Lucas warned his fans that these were not nearly as exciting as the original trilogy and he was right. Most of the action is just beneath the surface, but Lucas did a fantastic job of getting the most action from the initial “tax dispute.” To the haters I say, DROP DEAD!! They are overgrown babies who didn't get their bottles so let them live with their bitterness. I’ve always believed ever since the self-serving bromides began that the nattering nincompoops of negativity were never that big of fans to begin with; so easily swayed and disappointed; unable to think for themselves fostering an unhealthy and slightly Socialist-like obsession with George Lucas’s business practices- honestly, it sucks to be them, they have issues and life problems that should not be defined by movies. If said movies “raped your childhood”, you had a boring childhood and probably have an even duller adulthood. In the end, I am superior to all these, two-faced, bad attitude, basement-dwelling, roommate-mooching chumps as I will live with the fact that I have six “Star Wars” films to enjoy and they don’t! I rule! I conclude this review with a trace of sadness since this is the very last Star Wars movie I can get excited about. Sure, we will have more animated adventures, possibly a live-action series, but it just won't be the same. No more days to countdown to, no more long, enthusiastic lines, no more midnight sales of the toys. No more collective heralding of fans in love with the same thing. Even though I say goodbye to Star Wars, it will be forever with me. Without these films I would not be the person I am today. Some may think that's not a good a thing, but they would be dead f---ing wrong as these movies opened my eyes to a world I might not have otherwise discovered. The thought of a world without movies is a very depressing notion. God Bless you George Lucas! Thank you for allowing me to participate in your world all these years and don’t let the bitter retard bastards get you down. May the Force Be With All of You!